Returns is a story of the hyper-focus that occurs when one dissociates as they are discovering their biological ancestors, as witnessed on film-based emulsion. In the modern age of DNA testing-- secrets, even those buried in the depths of memory, find their way to the surface as inevitable truth, much like the ebb and flow of life. A reverse grief process emerges, and depending on the length and circumstances of the secret, a new context for life is necessary to move forward. Exploring the importance of the memory of place imprinted in our DNA and on the changing landscape, and documenting the intimacy and complexity of mental health’s ripple effect from the individual out into the biological family structure, this visual memoir, told through various analog photographic mediums, conveys the multi-layered journey of a 21st century woman’s search for grounded answers in a reality found amid the fog of a dreamlike emotional landscape.

Retrograding Returns.

The revolving doors

of opportunities to heal 

the generational traumas,

breaking the cycle of 

Fight or flight

Freeze or fawn.

Saturn Returns,

Returned me home,

Returned to Roots 

previously unknown.

Returned to Making,

Returning to Self.

Returning community,

Returns.

True awareness is the gift of the balanced nuance of life and death.